Reflections
by Rozemai
Summary: A collection of one shots about Kisshu and his thoughts and feelings. Since I didn't put it in the AN's here when the first 3 take place: 1:A few days before episode 51 2:During Episode 51 3: 3 years after the series ends. I do not own TMM and never will
1. Reflection

Kisshu sat on the tip of Tokyo Tower. His alien yellow eyes were closed as he replayed events from the past week through his head.

_A crazed look on his face, he pointed at her with his Sai, "Choose Ichigo, become mine or I'll destroy you!" Ichigo gave him a defiant look and raised her hand to summon her weapon. Kisshu lunged at her and she stepped away from the attack. He gave a strangled cough and began to fall. His previous wounds (a deep gash from his left collar bone to the right side of his chest) had reopened and, already weak, he started to breathe heavily. "Why… why don't you… listen to me? Listen to what I'm saying dammit… dammit…"_

Kisshu opened his eyes and put a hand to his chest. It was all because of her in the first place. Nothing ever happened right because of her. Or was it all his fault? He had fallen in love with her, hadn't he? That's what caused him to throw his attacks wider, to land them softer, wasn't it? But he had tried to kill her… because she wouldn't let him save her… Kisshu's eyes narrowed and he clenched his fist, but after a moment he relaxed. It was his fault. Everything had fallen into place incorrectly. He would have restored his planet by now, or taken back this one. His people would be living happy lives instead of cowering in fear from the dangerous conditions. If only he hadn't messed up. Because he fell in love with this human girl… he lost everything. His planet, his allies, his master…. Kisshu looked up suddenly, a revelation coming over him. Deep Blue-sama had never wanted to restore their people. He wanted Earth for his own reasons. He clenched his fist again, this time with a smug sense of victory. If Ichigo wouldn't let him take her away so she wouldn't get hurt, he'd just have to attack the center of the problem. Deep Blue would be awakening soon. He knew Ichigo and her allies would rise up and fight him. He knew they would fail without help. He stood. Kisshu knew what he had to do, and he knew he would die in doing so. He would have to kill Deep Blue.


	2. We're All Alone in the End

_The hardest part of holding on is letting go._

Kisshu sighed and looked up at the newest obstruction in Tokyo. Deep Blue was inside there; and so was Ichigo. He looked over to where the other Mews were fighting the flying snake-woman chimera animal. Both Pai and Taruto had fallen and it was only a matter of time until they did too. He had to hurry. _Two is already too many casualties._ He felt a passing sadness at their deaths and then looked up at the tower again. He would be joining them soon. _The path to redemption isn't an easy one._ He created a portal and disappeared inside it.

(A/N I do believe we all already know what happened between Kisshu and Deep Blue during the next 5 minutes, so I don't feel the need to repeat what had happened or what was said. :p I don't have access to the dialogue at the moment anyway. By the way, I thought it was kind of cheesy how Kisshu rolled all that way across the floor to land directly in front of Ichigo face up, so I'm changing that part. Also the part where he said 'I want to teach you something good' made completely no sense to me so I'm going to switch that dialogue up a little there too.)

Kisshu felt a searing pain through his abdomen and then he was falling. _No... it wasn't supposed to happen like this. I didn't even... touch him..._ He fell face down on the floor. He heard a gasp and felt a hand on his shoulder. _Ichigo... _Her tear-filled face came into view as she turned him over. "Kisshu... why did you..."

He held up a hand to stop her. He took a few labored breaths and winced at the effort, "Ichigo... I want... to give you something..." He weakly pushed himself off the floor. His face was coming closer to hers and, instinctively, she pulled away. "Ichigo... please... so that I... know what its like... not to be... pushed away..." His arms buckled under his weight and Ichigo caught him with her free hand (He was holding her other hand) under his back. His strength was failing and he knew he wouldn't last long. A great pain filled his chest; the pain was not only from being impaled on Deep Blue's sword. _I guess it was never meant to be..._ "I've always loved you... k...Koneko-chan..." He gave up and sank back to the floor. She had to let go of his hand to fully support him. _At least it ends like this... in her arms. _He coughed and blood covered the front of his shirt. _Goodbye Ichigo..._ He closed his eyes and waited for his body to catch up.

"Kisshu..." Ichigo gently shook him, "No... Kisshu... you can't die... not like this... KISSHU!" When he didn't respond, she set him down gently on the floor and wiped her eyes. She looked up, an intense look of anger on her face as she stood. "Strawberry Bell..." She held out her hand and her weapon shimmered into existence.

_The truth is... we're all alone in the end._


	3. Goodbye My Love

(A/N This one happens 2-3 years after the aliens return to their planet and restore it with Mew Aqua. Reconstruction is still underway but Pai, Kisshu, and Taruto, being the heroes they are for restoring the planet, already have homes built above the surface with their families with the excepttion of Kisshu whose mother (his only living relative at that time) had passed away right before he had arrived back home.)

_Time passes, people move... like a river's flow it never ends. A childish mind will turn into noble ambition. Young love will become deep affection. The clear water's surface reflects growth- Sheik, The Legen of Zelda Ocarina of Time_

Kisshu woke up, covered in a sheen of cold sweat. He sat up and rubbed his hair, mussing it even further. He'd been having nightmares again. They had started out innocently enough as memories of his time on Earth, but then they became warped and twisted. Tonight's dream featured Deep Blue mortally wounding Ichigo before he had arrived and he had been forced to watch her die as Deep Blue laughed maniacally in the background. At least it wan't his mother this time... He was constantly haunted by the guilt from that. If only he hadn't spent so much time toying with Ichigo... he could have saved her before she even became sick. He looked to the small shrine in the corner of his room. A picture of his mother in a silver picture frame was nestled in the center of it. He gave a small smile at the memory of when the picture was taken. It was when he was but a child and his father had still been alive.

He turned his head and looked at the small sphere of Mew Aqua sitting on his tiny bedside table. The Mew Aqua was gone, but the sphere still remained. He kept it mainly as a memento of Earth. He'd thought many times of going back, but his last memories of Ichigo dissuaded him from his course. She was probably with Aoyama now and had forgotten about him. But then again... she thought he was dead. _Maybe its better that way..._

_A little piece of paper with a picture drawn floats_

_On down the street till the wind is gone_

_The memory now is like the picture was then_

_When the paper's crumpled up it can't be perfect again- Linkin Park_

After many nights of debating and after asking Pai if it was possible to go back to Earth (although he didn't include details as to why; he knew that Pai already knew), he finally decided that he would write her a letter, and then while she was sleeping, deliver it. He would watch her from afar for a few days to see how things were going for her, and then head back home.

(A/N sorry I'm skipping around so much in this one. Its late and I want to finish it tonight )

It was the same house she had lived in back then. It had only been a couple of years, so of course she would still be in school. The tree outside her room had grown since then and he could now nestle himself within its branches and see out of the foliage without being seen himself. He sat and waited, the note clutched firmly in his hand.

It soon began to grow dark and he was jerked out of a slight doze as he heard Ichigo's laughter. He looked around and saw her walking towards her house accompanied by Aoyama Masaya. Kisshu's eyes narrowed at first, but then he relaxed. That was who she had chosen after all... They said their good-byes and Ichigo entered her house. He watched her do her homework with somewhat less difficulty then she had before. He smiled as he remembered when he had helped her with her summer homework (A/N happened in another of my fics if you're thinking 'wtf?! That never happened!'). He felt sorely tempted to go in and offer to help her at one point when she got so frustrated she threw her pencil across the room. She calmed down pretty quickly and puzzled through it with success (he could hear her talking herself through the problem and noted she did everything right. She was doing quadratic equations.)

He looked away discreetly when she undressed to get ready for bed. After about 10 minutes he looked back and she was asleep, or at least nearing sleep. He got up and stretched, he ought to do it now before he fell alseep himself. Luckily for him, Ichigo had left her window open to allow the cool summer night air inside. He slipped in quietly and touched down lightly on her floor. he breathed in and smiled. The smell was so familair it was exactly how it h ad smelled the last time he was in this room. It felt comforting to him and he lingered a few moments before setting the letter down quietly on her desk. The name 'Ichigo' was emblazoned on it in red ink. He looked over to Ichigo to give himself one last look at her and he was horrified. She was sitting up and looking directly at him, "Kisshu...?" Slightly panicky on the inside, he gave her his customary peace sign and a wink, "Ja ne," before disappearing inside a portal.

Ichigo woke up and stretched. It was a weekend and she was glad to have been able to sleep in. She gave a small girlish giggle and hummed to herself as she got up. She was going on a date with Aoyama-kun today. "Aoyama-kun, Aoyama-kun, Aoya-" she stopped as the bright red letters caught her eye. She froze. This was exactly where Kisshu had been standing in her dream last night. She'd forgotten about it until now. She picked up the letter. Maybe it hadn't been a dream. The letter hadn't been there when she went to sleep. Shaking slightly, she opened it. Kisshu was dead, wasn't he? She saw him die herself, held him in her arms as he passed.

She sat down on her chair. Her heart beat faster as she read the letter, trepidation making her shake.

_Ichigo,_

_It's been too long since I last saw you. I haven't stopped thinking of you since I left Earth. I've been recently thinking about my actions on Earth and I've realized that I acted badly. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. I guess I was thinking that if I couldn't have you, no one could. I had always wondered 'Why don't you love me the way I love you? Why don't you feel things as deep as I do?' I acted like a petulant child who didn't get what he wanted. For that, I ask forgiveness. I know we parted on bad terms, so I decided to write to you so you wouldn't keep such bitter memories of me. Well... that's really all I had wanted to say. Reconstruction is going well on our planet, I hope its been going good for you as well. You're still dating that Aoyama guy aren't you? If he does anything to bother you, just call on me and I'll kick his ass for you...then again you could probably do it yourself. My face still smarts, haha. Well there I go rambling. I better wrap this up. I doubt we'll ever meet again, so I guess I'll tell you now, I'll never forget you Ichigo. I hope you'll do the same. Again, please forgive me._

_-Kisshu_

Ichigo put down the letter, shocked. She hadn't thought about Kisshu in a long while. Kisshu said he had acted badly, but when she thought on it, she had done the same. She denied him his dying wish, hadn't she? What kind of heartless person would do that? She sighed, "Kisshu... gomen nasai..." She looked out the window and, nearly fell out of her chair: a beaming Kisshu was hovering in her window, "Really? Whatever for?"

"K-Kishu?! What are you doing here?" Her face reddened, embarrassed that he had heard her and embarrassed at talking to him right after reading such a passionate letter.

'What? You didn't think I'd be leaving after spending a day here? I wanted to make sure you got my letter and I wanted to see your reaction. I'm rather surprised, I didn't think you'd cry." He smirked.

Ichigo wiped her eyes hurriedly, "I'm not crying."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." Kisshu grinned and watched as she got up to make her bed, "I know its been a few years and all, but you've grown up quite nicely. I mean your bre-" A pillow soared across the room to land on his face.

"Pervert." Kisshu giggled under the pillow and Ichigo couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculous look of surprise on his face after the pillow fell.. They both froze as they heard a door open, subsequently close, and footsteps resounding moving steadily away. "Kisshu... I know its been awhile since we've seen each other, but you can't stay here long. My parents would freak if they found... you... in my room."

Kisshu's smile faded, "Ah, gomen. I've stayed too long as it is anyway. Well... I guess this is goodbye, Ichigo."

Ichigo frowned, "Since when did you stop callling me Koneko-chan?" She'd grown rather used to the name and her real name sounded false coming from Kisshu's lips.

Kisshu shrugged, "Well, you're not really a cat anymore, are you?" He created a portal and was about to step through it when Ichigo grabbed onto his arm, "Wait Kisshu."

A floaty feeling blossomed in Kisshu's stomach at her touch and his face reddened, "Umm..."

"Kisshu... I've been selfish. When you... when you were dying, you wanted me to do one last thing for you. I never granted it, did I?"

Kisshu silently shook his head, the blush had faded and he was stone-faced (not stoner faced :p).

"Well... I've been thinking, maybe... since we won't see each other again... as a parting gift..." She began to stumble over her words.

"Koneko-chan...are you saying...?"

Ichigo nodded, poking her forefingers together nervously. Kisshu turned to face her, "Well?" Ichigo blushed even more furiosly. He watched her. She twiddled her fingers. He watched her some more and she twiddled her fingers some more. Kisshu shrugged, "Well, if you're not going to..." He turned to leave again.

"Kisshu... you have to do it. You said you wanted to know what it's like to not be rejected, right?"

Kisshu nodded, "So I did. Well then..." He stepped towards her and Ichigo's heart beat faster. He towered over her; she had grown, but so had he. He placed his hands on her shoulders. Her heart felt like it would race right up her throat. He pulled her closer and their lips met. Ichigo didn't pull away, and that made Kisshu hold her all the closer. When he finally let her go, she was breathless and her face a strawberry red. Kisshu turned around so she couldn't see his sadness, "Goodbye forever Ichigo." Just before he disapperaed into the portal, she saw him turn around and give her his customary peace sign, "Thank you." After that, he was gone. Ichigo sank to her knees, not sure what to do.

Back on his own planet, in his own room, Kisshu leaned against a wall, tears on his face. He would never see his Koneko-chan again. He would never feel the touch of her lips again. He had loved her so and would now continue to live on without her. _It was never meant to be_ he told himself. His own thoughts responded, _but it felt so right..._ _I guess the only thing to do is keep on living..._ He wiped his tears away as he heard his name called, "I'm coming!" he called back. He sighed and left his home to help his people rebuild. _But it's time to face the truth. I will never be with you... [Ichigo... (James Blunt)_

_Where'd you go? I miss you so, seems like its been forever since you've been gone. Please come back home._


	4. This Will Never Work

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted in forever. What, its been like a year, right? Sorry :p

I've just been really busy lately. Alright, well in this chapter, I don't really know when it takes place, but just so you know (if you haven't already derived this fact) these aren't in any chronological order whatsoever. Enjoy, and please review ^^

Ichigo stared up at the ceiling and sighed. She couldn't sleep. She had tossed and turned for hours. Her mind was too active; there were too many thoughts in her head. She closed her eyes and took a breath to calm herself. She couldn't believe she was about to do this, "Kisshu, I know you're out there; you're there almost every night. Come here, I wanna talk."

Silence. No response. Ichigo opened her eyes. Maybe today was one of those times when he didn't watch her.

Just as the thought was going through her mind, a soft shimmer appeared in the air as Kisshu teleported into the room. He was laying on his side as he hovered in the air, "Yes, my kitten?"

Ichigo reddened slightly. She knew he was watching her every night, she found a small comfort in knowing he was watching over her (but she was also slightly irked that he was technically stalking her. But she knew he wouldn't hurt her {okay, perhaps this happened before the 40's episodes when he tried to kill her that one time :p}. He couldn't. If he was going to, he would have done it long before now, when he'd had the chance on several opportunities). It was different to talk to him when she had caught him (sort of) doing it.

"You want to know why I'm so opposed to you?," She didn't look at him, just continued to stare at the ceiling. She didn't know if she could say this looking him in the eye.

Kisshu rolled over on his stomach and tucked his hands under his chin, "Would you care to enlighten me?"

Ichigo sighed, "I really do like you Kisshu. I always say I hate you, but that's just a front I put on. I want to be with you but I can't. I'm…. sort of scared to." She paused.

"Because you're part of Tokyo Mew Mew? Or maybe Aoyama or that Ryou guy?" Kisshu asked.

Ichigo shook her head, "Those don't really bother me. I could deal with Aoyama, and Ryou would just yell at me and not talk to me for a few weeks. I think the other girls would understand. I suppose you could call them contributing factors though…."

Kisshu chuckled, "Well those were all of my theories. What's your reasoning Kitten?"

"It's impossible." she said bluntly, "It wouldn't go anywhere." Her voice sounded strained as if she was holding back emotions. It seemed that she'd been mulling over all this for quite some time.

He sat up, "What do you mean?"

"We couldn't get married or have a family like normal people. We-"

Kisshu cut her off, "Why not?" He sounded indignant.

She made a face at him, "I was getting to that." She took a moment to compose herself, and continued, her voice sounding more strained as she went as if it was getting harder to hold back tears "No matter where we went, we wouldn't (lol, alliteration) fit in. If we had children, they wouldn't either." She paused again, "Assuming you would want stuff like this. Family seems to be really important to you aliens."

Kisshu nodded somberly, "Its all we have."

"You're an alien. Most humans would find that strange. Or they'd take you away and study you, or try to. And if they didn't do that, surely your presence would be frowned upon. Any child wouldn't fit in. Even if we lived on your planet it wouldn't work. I'm a human. We took your planet from you; even a child with half-human blood would be looked down upon. And I'd be away from my family and you from yours no matter where we went."

He gave a pained look, "I don't…. have family anymore." There was a short silence between them, "My mother died of sickness shortly after I came to this planet. My father died long before that."

Ichigo turned to face him, tears brimming in her eyes, "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

Kisshu waved it away, "Why are you crying Ichigo? Surely its not because of my family being gone."

She sniffed, "Just talking about all this… hurts I guess. It makes it seem like it'll never work. After discussing this I don't even want to have to fight you. I don't think I could."

A thoughtful look crossed into his eyes as he changed positions again. He sat cross legged and put his chin into his hand as he stared off into the corner of Ichigo's room.

Moments passed and Ichigo closed her eyes, her breathing quiet.

Kisshu's voice broke the silence. There was determination in his voice, "We'll just work together." Ichigo's eyes opened, her face confused.

"The two of us will find our own Mew Aqua. We'll use it on my planet. We won't need this one after that. The war (if you could call it that…) will be over. We won't be enemies anymore then." He gave her his customary smirk, "It's perfect."

Ichigo sat up, "But how will we find Mew Aqua without the others noticing? My body reacts to Mew Aqua, so Ryou will be able to detect it with his fancy computers. And Pai must have some way of keeping tabs on you."

Kisshu smirked again as he noticed that she didn't include Taruto in that, "I have my own ways of going undetected. Pai is used to me going weird places. And he wouldn't find it strange that I come here every night to meet with you because I do that anyway."

Ichigo nodded, pleased by the plans. She studied them in her mind and after a moment her face fell.

"What's wrong Kitten?" Kisshu asked, concern filling his voice.

"What about afterwards? What will we do? What will become of us, I mean? Will we just go our separate way afterwards?"

Kisshu floated over to her, close enough that she could feel his breath. He put his hand gently on her cheek, "Ichigo, you are everything to me. Every atom in my body has fallen in love with you. You are an eternal part of soul. I love you, nobody could replace you. You think I'd let your world and mine stand in the way of us being together? We'll find a way, I promise." He leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers.

A/N: ^__^ I love the last few sentences Kisshu says. I wish I'd made it up…. my boyfriend said that and I just had to use it in a fan fiction :p


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